I thought I’d update you all on my Pokémon GO experience.
To be frank I didn’t expect to still be playing GO. I’m not 12 years old and this game isn’t Pogs.
But it’s been nearly two months since I downloaded the game and staggered around Brighton with all the spacial awareness of a Snorlax blocking Route 11. Standing in the middle of a road eagerly high-fiving my brother because there’s a Pidgey standing behind him. Those were good times. The days when the game couldn’t go five minutes without hanging and everything was exciting.
Now? Pidgeys are meat. Meat to be thrown into the candy grinder. I don’t care if they’re CP 10 or 550; it’s not going to take over a gym, I’ve already got a Pidgeot and I’m only interested because it takes just 12 candies to evolve one. Plenty of easy evos to fill up my 30 minutes of Lucky Egg time. Because it’s all about the XP optimisation Bro. I just wish they’d let me skip the animation so I could evolve more.
I barely touch gyms; they’re all full of CP 2200 Dragonites that have been left there by sniping 10 year olds whose lack of responsibility and abundance of time allow them to out-level me easily. So I don’t get Pokécoins from them very often. Instead I wait for Google Opinion Awards to ask me questions which gives me Google credit. Why spend my own money on incubators when I’ll be given it for free by confirming to a faceless global company that I visited a McDonalds last Tuesday?
My wife plays an extremely important role, enough to consider the game on my phone ‘our game’. Driving and playing Pokémon GO is dangerous, something it feels the need to constantly point out. But my wife is a passenger; a passenger who plays the game whilst I drive. She once noticed a Pikachu’s tail on the edge of the screen and calmly (lies) asked me to pull over as it was our first. We caught that little yellow so and so together. She also gets all the stops that I drive past, amassing quantities of Pokéballs that would make Brock open his eyes. Are they open? Does he live as though he’s perpetually looking out of a postbox? Anyway…the couple that GOs together stays together.
To wrap this up, here are some questions that I keep asking myself and fellow GOers.
- Why don’t you get more than one candy for trading an evolved ‘mon?
- Why can’t my GPS glitch more often and give me more kms on my eggs?
- Why does the game seemingly hate switching onto different WiFi networks or going to 4G?
- Why do I need so many bloody potions?! I’m level 23! I have Hyper Potions!
- Does anyone use the camera?
- Starters are a big deal and are meant to be rare. I get that. But come on. It seems I’ve got more chance of finding a living, breathing Bulbasaur than one on this game. Can’t they be a little less rare?
- WHY ARE RATTATAS RANDOMLY LIKE HOUDINIS? I once caught a 1000+ Golbat with one normal ball whilst a Rattata took 5?!?
It’s still going. We’re still playing. At points it’s a real grind and for the life of me I can’t find a strong enough Magikarp to evolve, but the buddy system has just been announced which will hopefully keep the interest levels up. Onto level 24 we go!
P.S. Caught 109 Seen 110