Green Lantern

Five years ago I visited a comic convention in London with my siblings. Ryan Reynold’s mug was everywhere at that convention. This was a big deal as Warner Bros. pushed out a film that many thought could be this generation’s Star Wars. My brother stood on a stage and recited the Green Lantern Corps oath. He did a pretty good job of it and won some goodies. The four of us attended in the colours of various lanterns. We wore t-shirts and corresponding rings!

Fear, love, hope and will.

There was a time when I was really looking forward to this film.

When we left the cinema a couple of months later we all discussed how we enjoyed it. What I think we couldn’t do was fully admit that it hadn’t reached the heights we expected it to. Warner Bros. had already given us Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. We even had Iron Man. This was meant to be an amazing time for comic book movies.

Last week I was channel hoping and came across it. Not having seen it in a few years I thought I’d give another go.

Green Lantern is an utter lemon of a movie. A wasted opportunity. Fortunately Reynolds has moved onto something better (Deadpool), and we’ll get a reboot in the new DCEU at some point.

From Jordan’s bodged origin story through to his oddly disembodied head, it’s a huge misstep. Plot holes the entire Corps could fly through, laced with idiotic decisions from all species, add to a story that is rushed and doesn’t earn anything. Essentially it’s the story of three kids who are given barely any backstory dealing with extra-terrestrials in different ways. It is not the space opera we were hoping for. It’s barely a soap opera, though with dialogue that boils down to ‘you’re just afraid to admit you’re afraid’, you might think you were in one.

This was a chance to really build a world. Instead we get a cloud with a head and a group of space police who it appears could barely organise a piss-up in a brewery. We’re told that will is the strongest emotion yet the barely explained Guardians, and they’re top Lantern, try to drop it in favour of fear at every opportunity.

The suit…looks dumb. Admirable but dumb. Especially over his nose. It’s even commented on in the film how it’s not much of a disguise.

I don’t place any blame at the cast’s feet. Reynolds himself has said how it was a great opportunity but the lack of a locked down script crippled it.

It needed to be longer; a rare critique to throw at a film nowadays. The extended version fixes a few issues but it’s proof that DC had the capacity to completely hack a film apart way before BvS and Suicide Squad. We’re given very little to go on, especially when Hal’s supposed ‘training sequence’ lasts a minute or two. He could easily have been introduced to the larger Corps in a second film, giving us time to get to know him and his struggle.

The film is perhaps best summed up by it’s end credits stinger. A sickeningly misplaced stab at sequel seed planting, the idea itself is proven stupid in the film that it follows!

It’s taken me five years, but I’m admitting it. Green Lantern is a terrible film.

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